They said, "Our future groom must have a personal car." We answered, "We will see to it, with pleasure." They said, "Our daughter cannot live as a tenant." We said, "Very well, the second floor of groom's father's house is totally at your disposal." They said, "We can't let our reputation being ruined among relatives, so holding the wedding ceremony in a luxurious hall or hotel is a must." Again we said, "very well." They said, "The wedding gown must be the most beautiful ever worn by a bride, and the jewelry set must be the most expensive as well."

At any rate, we tried to fulfill everything condition they set. We just closed our eyes and accepted them, we had to take them as they came, but when they asked for 1000 gold coins for dowry, we could not say, " Ok" anymore.

I was stunned, they wanted to send us on a wild goose chase.

******Why Do You Haggle? ******** Haggling over presents is not acceptable. There is an old beautiful viewpoint on marriage portion: "Dowry leads to friendship and kindness," which is the most accurate interpretation for this word.

In this meaning, man's absolute love and kindness is somehow symbolically expressed.

"The best gift one can give to a future wife is love and affection," said Leila Maleki, a 21-year-old woman.

She went on to say that dowry is an old religious tradition, but its spiritual value is more important its material one. "Setting hefty dowries is not acceptable. Every young man, based on his financial condition buys a gift for his wife, and may repeat it during their married life, and with financial progress, some husbands buy a house, car and land for their wives. At any rate, the marriage portion is a significant gift which should not be focused on economically, because it might be an obstacle hindering marriage."

Avoiding or postponing marriage is one result of high dowries. These days so many of our young who wish to get married, go through the courtship and engagement stages yet they cannot marry because of high dowries set by the bride family, hence, the marriage can not take place.

The reality is that high dowries present many difficulties for the common people, especially those with low incomes. Further contributing to this problem is jealousy about other couples' dowry which, as mentioned before, results in postponing marriage and weakening the foundation of young couples' lives.

Also, families, who have more than one daughter usually determine their younger daughters' dowry according to their first daughter's, which is supposed to always be higher than the first one.

They want to break the record, and a lower dowry will supposedly humiliate them! Jealousy not only exists among sisters, but also among relatives and cousins. News on the number of coins set for a girl's dowry will be disseminated among the relative in no time, and determines yet higher dowries for other brides-to-be.

**********Inconvenient Marriage Portions********* Asking for unrealistic and unreasonable dowries will turn its positive effects into negative ones in the long run, creating obstacles for a very important issue like marriage, and destroying the family foundation. Seyed Bozorg Hoseini, a sociologist, says in this regard, "every phenomenon functions in response to a principle need, and the dowry phenomenon is not an exception to this rule. If the rule does not apply to this phenomenon properly -- no matter what the reason -- it must be changed."

Unfortunately, with the passage of time, the majority of people's views have changed. There is also an economic aspect to it, which is not correct. "The media are also responsible for changing the families' approach to the issue of marriage portion. They should make families regard dowry as an element laying the foundation for a new family, nothing else.